I don't know who you are anymore.
Who are you? Who am I? Who are we? Are we the two sides of the same coin? Or the same side of two coins? Are we one and the same? Or are we just different? Left, right. Up, down. In, out. North, south. Back, forth. Past, present.
A dichotomy.
A dichotomy, but also a similarity.
We are similar. Our minds are in sync. But who are you? Who am I?
Who are you, really?
I liked you once. I liked who you were. Who I was. Who I am now. I liked the attention you gave me. She gave me. She always gave me.
I don't know who I am. If I'm me, or if I'm her. Or if I'm a multitude of persons in one shell.
We are Legion, for we are many.
So which one do you want? Me. Her. We. Us. None of the above. All of the above.
The lines are blurred. I see me in the mirror. I see her in the mirror. I see them in the mirror.
Who exactly am I?
No matter who I end up with, she'll always be the one. I'll probably never meet her, but I know her, because I know me, and I am her. She belongs to me. Does that mean I belong to her? That we belong to each other?
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Friday, 1 July 2011
Musings Over A Cuppa
I am extremely pissed at Blogger.
My oh-so-inspirational tea post was only saved with the first two paragraphs intact - the rest are missing. So I really can't bring myself to write it all down again. If this incident happens again, I swear I'll move to Livejournal instead.
On a lighter note, a few people might have noticed that I went to collect my 1119 cert on Wednesday. Well, I'd originally planned on wearing one of my button down long sleeve shirts cause it was so hot lately. I'd even planned to wear my gladiator sandals as well. But then....
It rained.
Talk about raining on your parade, literally.
And it got so cold and jammed I was half worried we wouldn't get to Taman Sea in time because I planned to get my cert, hand it to my dad, and spend some time hanging around the school (since it was RKA day) and wait for Chiau Hui's mum to get her report card so she could clear off and come for lunch with us.
By the time I got to Taman Sea it was almost 9.45 am. Good, I was still on schedule since we arranged to meet at 9.50 am, the time when Chiau's class had their recess. Ran in the rain to the entrance, walked up the walkway past the prefects who were busy chorusing, "Good Morning." Past the poor fellow Scout who was busy opening the gates (in the rain, might I add) for the cars to enter the school. Honestly, every time something like this occurs, it's our Scouts that get assigned the grunt work. Made my way past the tables and stone chairs, past the group of Green House people who were sheltering underneath due to the rain. Laughed at them cause I didn't need to go for House Practice anymore, ho ho ho.
Rushed up the teachers' staircase (which I use every chance I get since only teachers were allowed to use it, but screw it. I am a returning alum!) Visited the facilities and raised a curious eyebrow at the barrel of what-looked-like-oily-dirty-water right outside. Entered said facilities and saw the "Please Flush to Maintain Cleanliness" signs inside every cubicle. Sniggered when some of the said cubicles were missing the handles to flush the toilets. Despaired at the sight of the toilets and wondered where did all our money go? Raised an eyebrow at the new faucet heads.
Then I walked out and who should I see coming towards me but Mr Chris! I think he was just coming out of the office, so we made our way there and got our cert. A couple of teachers entered and asked us to donate blood (yes, they do a blood donation drive every year on this day). Met the same teacher (I think) who had given me my SPM cert in March; she commented that I looked so different. Do I?
So we got our certs, then he accompanied me all the way back down past "Good Morning" prefects, and I ran all the way to the car and threw my cert in through the window and went back up the walkway to another chorus of "Good Morning." Saw some Green house people pushing each other under a stream of rainwater that was leaking from a hole in the roof and tsked. Kids these days.
Went up to Chiau's class, met her halfway there, so we relocated to the canteen and had a great jaw of a time there with dear Elaine. Had some really meaningful convos then. Afterwards, Elaine had to go for her presentation and so we left for the hall, where I * ahem, ahem* managed to convince the dear Mr Chris to donate blood. He was grimacing when they stuck the needle in. We have pictures, oh yes, even a recording, but he doesn't want it published so it's not on FB. Good blackmailing material huh? Just kidding.
After that we met Vincent there and the boys had a chat. Then we basically toured the school waiting for Chiau's mum to come over and pick up the report card. There was a funny incident where we were both chatting with our favourite teacher, the Chem teacher, for several minutes, and after she left to her office, Chris and I glanced at each other and said, "What's her name ah?"
We started throwing out names until Chris gave it up and went to ask said teacher and we were so sheepish when he came back and said, "Her name is Pn Liew." Well, we can't remember OK? One and a half year we've not met her.
After that we went to makan at Teapot Cafe which was really nice, the atmosphere and everything. Food also not bad. And the decor was lovely. The only embarassing point was when they mistakening place a teapot in front of us (which we didn't order - it belonged to the next table - but we thought it was some complementary thing) and we all took turns to sniff at the lovely smell of apple crumble tea.
Gosh, we need to try that next time.
My oh-so-inspirational tea post was only saved with the first two paragraphs intact - the rest are missing. So I really can't bring myself to write it all down again. If this incident happens again, I swear I'll move to Livejournal instead.
On a lighter note, a few people might have noticed that I went to collect my 1119 cert on Wednesday. Well, I'd originally planned on wearing one of my button down long sleeve shirts cause it was so hot lately. I'd even planned to wear my gladiator sandals as well. But then....
It rained.
Talk about raining on your parade, literally.
And it got so cold and jammed I was half worried we wouldn't get to Taman Sea in time because I planned to get my cert, hand it to my dad, and spend some time hanging around the school (since it was RKA day) and wait for Chiau Hui's mum to get her report card so she could clear off and come for lunch with us.
By the time I got to Taman Sea it was almost 9.45 am. Good, I was still on schedule since we arranged to meet at 9.50 am, the time when Chiau's class had their recess. Ran in the rain to the entrance, walked up the walkway past the prefects who were busy chorusing, "Good Morning." Past the poor fellow Scout who was busy opening the gates (in the rain, might I add) for the cars to enter the school. Honestly, every time something like this occurs, it's our Scouts that get assigned the grunt work. Made my way past the tables and stone chairs, past the group of Green House people who were sheltering underneath due to the rain. Laughed at them cause I didn't need to go for House Practice anymore, ho ho ho.
Rushed up the teachers' staircase (which I use every chance I get since only teachers were allowed to use it, but screw it. I am a returning alum!) Visited the facilities and raised a curious eyebrow at the barrel of what-looked-like-oily-dirty-water right outside. Entered said facilities and saw the "Please Flush to Maintain Cleanliness" signs inside every cubicle. Sniggered when some of the said cubicles were missing the handles to flush the toilets. Despaired at the sight of the toilets and wondered where did all our money go? Raised an eyebrow at the new faucet heads.
Then I walked out and who should I see coming towards me but Mr Chris! I think he was just coming out of the office, so we made our way there and got our cert. A couple of teachers entered and asked us to donate blood (yes, they do a blood donation drive every year on this day). Met the same teacher (I think) who had given me my SPM cert in March; she commented that I looked so different. Do I?
So we got our certs, then he accompanied me all the way back down past "Good Morning" prefects, and I ran all the way to the car and threw my cert in through the window and went back up the walkway to another chorus of "Good Morning." Saw some Green house people pushing each other under a stream of rainwater that was leaking from a hole in the roof and tsked. Kids these days.
Went up to Chiau's class, met her halfway there, so we relocated to the canteen and had a great jaw of a time there with dear Elaine. Had some really meaningful convos then. Afterwards, Elaine had to go for her presentation and so we left for the hall, where I * ahem, ahem* managed to convince the dear Mr Chris to donate blood. He was grimacing when they stuck the needle in. We have pictures, oh yes, even a recording, but he doesn't want it published so it's not on FB. Good blackmailing material huh? Just kidding.
After that we met Vincent there and the boys had a chat. Then we basically toured the school waiting for Chiau's mum to come over and pick up the report card. There was a funny incident where we were both chatting with our favourite teacher, the Chem teacher, for several minutes, and after she left to her office, Chris and I glanced at each other and said, "What's her name ah?"
We started throwing out names until Chris gave it up and went to ask said teacher and we were so sheepish when he came back and said, "Her name is Pn Liew." Well, we can't remember OK? One and a half year we've not met her.
After that we went to makan at Teapot Cafe which was really nice, the atmosphere and everything. Food also not bad. And the decor was lovely. The only embarassing point was when they mistakening place a teapot in front of us (which we didn't order - it belonged to the next table - but we thought it was some complementary thing) and we all took turns to sniff at the lovely smell of apple crumble tea.
Gosh, we need to try that next time.
Friday, 24 June 2011
You Know You've Not Visited Your Blog In Quite A While When You Forget The Password To Log In.
It's true what they say: the only time you actually write your blog is when the exams are coming. That's the time to spam on about how much you've studied (or not), what happened during the exam, blah blah blah.
Well, C4 was alright. I didn't have as much trouble with this as I had with C3 last semester (and I got a C to prove it) but at least this time I actually more or less can figure out what they're asking me.
Biology was horrible. Everyone complained that "there was no time to think!" and it's true. You get the fresh, clean scientific article and....your mind goes blank, just like the fresh copy. It took me quite some time to riffle through the entire thing just to find what I was looking for.
(Dear God! How annoying can it get when you open a tab to check your mail, click on the first link to open it, come back to it five minutes later to see that it's still hang-kei-ing at that same main page.)
Anyway, for those not taking Physics, congratulations! Today is officially the last day of exams! So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye to dear Edexcel! For my friends who are taking Physics (like me, rather), we will persevere and defeat Newton, Keppler, Hertzsprung-Russell (though I do think that they were actually two men, not one) and we will ace this examination!!
Well, I hope. Keep your fingers crossed, people!
I'm not really sure if I'm even allowed to talk about the Chem paper today. I mean, I already took it, I suspect with the time difference the English people took it, but I honestly have no idea about the rest of you. So, all I'm gonna say on the subject was that for me, it was a bit tough, and I regretted not studying more on certain topics. There. That'll pass the censor boards. (Which reminds me of my English teacher from secondary school talking about imagery, I think it was, and stuff like how a pair of scissors can be used to demonstrate censorship.)
Anyway, when Physics is over, I'm going to start reading the Hollows by Kim Harrison again (aka the Rachel Morgan series). It's a really cool series, and it starts off with, how, thanks to genetic modification, a virus strain that infected a tomato. The supernatural beings - vampires, witches, pixies etc only suffered from a slight cold and stuff, but humans died out thanks to the virus. When it came to light that the supernatural beings were now more or less equal to the human population, they started mingling with the humans, though there is quite some mistrust between the two species. And since all this started with GM foods, they killed off the scientists and destroyed shipments of drugs in case something like that happened again.
It's a very interesting topic for someone like me who's planning to do biotech (GM foods, anyone?) and it combines science (just a little bit) with my favourite supernatural magic power genre. The best part of all is when humans are so fearful of tomatoes, they stopped eating it, hence tomato-based foods like pizza and spaghetti are shunned even though the tomatoes are perfectly alright and virus-free. It's incredibly funny when Rachel (witch), Ivy (vampire) and Glenn (human) go to Piscary's for dinner, and they serve pizza, and Glenn's horrified at the sight of the pizza. "It's got tomatoes in it!"
And I'm trying to see if I can get the entire series in hardcover cause reading it on PDF is quite a strain. Seriously, I prefer flipping the pages of a book than scrolling. And don't even talk to me about trying to print it out. I did that once, right after my dad installed the new ink cartridge. I got so horrified at the number of pages I stopped printing about halfway, and the ink levels dropped to half. And I didn't even finish printing.
Which is why I'm looking to buy the books instead. But dude, MPH sells them from RM 29.90 (reasonable enough) up to RM 86.90 (crap!). Yeah, you and me both.
So people, hint hint, if you're trying to get me something, either this or Merlin Season 3, original (hopefully) or not original (still OK I suppose) will do. Thank you all in advance.
Well, C4 was alright. I didn't have as much trouble with this as I had with C3 last semester (and I got a C to prove it) but at least this time I actually more or less can figure out what they're asking me.
Biology was horrible. Everyone complained that "there was no time to think!" and it's true. You get the fresh, clean scientific article and....your mind goes blank, just like the fresh copy. It took me quite some time to riffle through the entire thing just to find what I was looking for.
(Dear God! How annoying can it get when you open a tab to check your mail, click on the first link to open it, come back to it five minutes later to see that it's still hang-kei-ing at that same main page.)
Anyway, for those not taking Physics, congratulations! Today is officially the last day of exams! So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye to dear Edexcel! For my friends who are taking Physics (like me, rather), we will persevere and defeat Newton, Keppler, Hertzsprung-Russell (though I do think that they were actually two men, not one) and we will ace this examination!!
Well, I hope. Keep your fingers crossed, people!
I'm not really sure if I'm even allowed to talk about the Chem paper today. I mean, I already took it, I suspect with the time difference the English people took it, but I honestly have no idea about the rest of you. So, all I'm gonna say on the subject was that for me, it was a bit tough, and I regretted not studying more on certain topics. There. That'll pass the censor boards. (Which reminds me of my English teacher from secondary school talking about imagery, I think it was, and stuff like how a pair of scissors can be used to demonstrate censorship.)
Anyway, when Physics is over, I'm going to start reading the Hollows by Kim Harrison again (aka the Rachel Morgan series). It's a really cool series, and it starts off with, how, thanks to genetic modification, a virus strain that infected a tomato. The supernatural beings - vampires, witches, pixies etc only suffered from a slight cold and stuff, but humans died out thanks to the virus. When it came to light that the supernatural beings were now more or less equal to the human population, they started mingling with the humans, though there is quite some mistrust between the two species. And since all this started with GM foods, they killed off the scientists and destroyed shipments of drugs in case something like that happened again.
It's a very interesting topic for someone like me who's planning to do biotech (GM foods, anyone?) and it combines science (just a little bit) with my favourite supernatural magic power genre. The best part of all is when humans are so fearful of tomatoes, they stopped eating it, hence tomato-based foods like pizza and spaghetti are shunned even though the tomatoes are perfectly alright and virus-free. It's incredibly funny when Rachel (witch), Ivy (vampire) and Glenn (human) go to Piscary's for dinner, and they serve pizza, and Glenn's horrified at the sight of the pizza. "It's got tomatoes in it!"
And I'm trying to see if I can get the entire series in hardcover cause reading it on PDF is quite a strain. Seriously, I prefer flipping the pages of a book than scrolling. And don't even talk to me about trying to print it out. I did that once, right after my dad installed the new ink cartridge. I got so horrified at the number of pages I stopped printing about halfway, and the ink levels dropped to half. And I didn't even finish printing.
Which is why I'm looking to buy the books instead. But dude, MPH sells them from RM 29.90 (reasonable enough) up to RM 86.90 (crap!). Yeah, you and me both.
So people, hint hint, if you're trying to get me something, either this or Merlin Season 3, original (hopefully) or not original (still OK I suppose) will do. Thank you all in advance.
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Electric Charges in the Air Makes Me Fizzle
It's been ages since I've actually taken a good look at my blog.
One thing I notice is that every single time I come in, there are always a lot of comments on my chatbox. All are spam, with the exception of Shareen, who even noticed the number of random people on my chatbox. Yes, people, spam lives, but it's quite an ego boost, particularly for someone like me who doesn't really post much stuff, to have people comment and say stuff like, "This is a really good blog!"
Oh, who am I kidding? This blog is three-quarters to the compost pile.
On another note, my printer has been working up quite a tantrum lately. See, I stick the USB into the laptop, try to print and lo and behold, paper goes in, gets jammed halfway, only comes back out when I hit the OFF button on the printer. Since a few of those messages that popped out seemed to imply something was wrong with my ink cartridges, dad got some new ones instead. Hopefully when I stick them in everything will be A OK and it'll be up and running soon.
I like electricity. There's something quite cool about being all Brennan Mulwray and throwing a tesla coil at people. Of course, this was way before I saw the Sorcerer's Apprentice and immediately decided that electricity was one hell of a power. Of course, not to be done in water but well...
Plot wise, not bad, particularly liked the technobabble by Monsieur Nicolas Cage "...comes from the electricity in your nervous system." Hmm, maybe that's why Brennan grabbed his gut when he was hit by whatshisname. Confused? There's an episode where this mutant could send out waves of pain. For telepath Frank, the pain hit him and he was clutching his head (telepathy being a mental thing). When it hit Brennan, he was clutching his gut, so word has it that his electrical ability originates from there. Like what Nicolas said, "From the nervous system."
I really disliked the main character and his whinny voice though. Ten year old Dave is better than 20 year old Dave. And anyone besides me that thinks the female lead is like a blonde Bella Swan?
Anyway, mocks are next week, so gotta study. When I'm done with that, I'm gonna finish Kim Harrison's entire Hollows series. It's an incredibly good read, I promise.
One thing I notice is that every single time I come in, there are always a lot of comments on my chatbox. All are spam, with the exception of Shareen, who even noticed the number of random people on my chatbox. Yes, people, spam lives, but it's quite an ego boost, particularly for someone like me who doesn't really post much stuff, to have people comment and say stuff like, "This is a really good blog!"
Oh, who am I kidding? This blog is three-quarters to the compost pile.
On another note, my printer has been working up quite a tantrum lately. See, I stick the USB into the laptop, try to print and lo and behold, paper goes in, gets jammed halfway, only comes back out when I hit the OFF button on the printer. Since a few of those messages that popped out seemed to imply something was wrong with my ink cartridges, dad got some new ones instead. Hopefully when I stick them in everything will be A OK and it'll be up and running soon.
I like electricity. There's something quite cool about being all Brennan Mulwray and throwing a tesla coil at people. Of course, this was way before I saw the Sorcerer's Apprentice and immediately decided that electricity was one hell of a power. Of course, not to be done in water but well...
Plot wise, not bad, particularly liked the technobabble by Monsieur Nicolas Cage "...comes from the electricity in your nervous system." Hmm, maybe that's why Brennan grabbed his gut when he was hit by whatshisname. Confused? There's an episode where this mutant could send out waves of pain. For telepath Frank, the pain hit him and he was clutching his head (telepathy being a mental thing). When it hit Brennan, he was clutching his gut, so word has it that his electrical ability originates from there. Like what Nicolas said, "From the nervous system."
I really disliked the main character and his whinny voice though. Ten year old Dave is better than 20 year old Dave. And anyone besides me that thinks the female lead is like a blonde Bella Swan?
Anyway, mocks are next week, so gotta study. When I'm done with that, I'm gonna finish Kim Harrison's entire Hollows series. It's an incredibly good read, I promise.
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Sweet Dreams
I live in a dream. I've more or less figured out what I want to be, what I want to achieve, but I can never wrap my mind around the pathway I'm supposed to take to get there. So I wait, for the dark to descend, to engulf me, to take me in deeper, to greater heights, until I fall asleep. Then I dream. I dream of knights and swordfights, the only things right now that can fire my blood to the extreme. I've always wanted to be a knight. The glory, the honour, the chivalry. Sometimes I feel as if I'd belong better in that era of blood and metal, than in this world of technology and complicated stuff. I want to feel the rush of magic in my veins, the hum of my blood as I draw out my sword, the intense high that comes with the glory of battle. Then I realise that this can never be. So I go back to sleep. And I dream till the dawn wakes me.
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
British Accent
Okay, so there's this fella in my Mech class who's apparently from England (but he's an Indian) and when he speaks, he's got the British accent, but it sounds much more relaxed than the usual crisp accents we see from Keira Knightley for instance (which is where I got my pseudo accent from - not really sure if it's really classified as British or not). Thing is, he keeps pronouncing words with a silent T - like Water becomes WAT-uh, better - BETT-uh, to the point that our Mech lecturer, a youngish fella called Mr Noel started mimicking him every chance he gets, and this brought up a lot of laughs, especially today in class. It's more of a heavy emphasis on the first syllable and they kind of rush through the -er sound. Now, I've tried searching quite a bit, but somehow on every other youtube video of a Brit doing an interview all of them pronounced their Ts, or maybe I didn't pay much attention, but I've personally never heard WAT-uh until my Mech classes this sem. Even Mr Noel and the guy (Javed) were talking about it once when Noel wondered why the actors on Harry Potter kept pronouncing the T sound and Javed replied, "How else would everyone know what we were talking about?" So, Shar, just wondering, do you guys pronounce the T? Or is it just a slang, a more relaxed way of saying stuff? Also, what accent do people in your part of the country England have? I've seen vids of Michelle Ryan and her RP accent, but then Emilia Fox has a "heavier" kind of British accent, Olivia Williams from Dollhouse has that crisp, posh one. Also, what exactly are Hard R words? Since on one episode of Dollhouse Olivia Williams mentioned that she doesn't do hard R words. Been trying to find some info on this but no result so far. Would appreciate some light shed on the matter.
Friday, 18 March 2011
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