Oh, we are free! Free from the burdens! The restrains, the time-consuming, bloody 42 hours I wasted.
Yes, people, I'm talking about Msian/Moral Studies. The biweekly classes I had to sit for for the past 4 months. And though it may be fun (as in, we poke fun at the teachers) it was, overall, a bloody waste of time. Okay, so I learned something (like how Moral is actually Beginner's Guide to Philosophy) so it wasn't a total waste of time. Just a bloody waste of time.
Exams were yesterday (Friday 23th) and we - Jian Haw, Fiona, Yvonne and I - holed up in the lib not to study Moral, but to discuss what essays we were going to write and what values to use for those essays. Yep, Fi and Yvonne's class teacher (2 teachs: Ms Sue who set the papers - Fi's teach- and Ms Geetha - mine and Jian's) had already given out format. As in what's going to come out for the final exam, including the topics for the MCQs. Confused? It sorta ran like this:
Q1: Morality
Q10: Kant
Q20- Buddhism
Yeah, she seriously gave them out and they're the exact ones she's been giving out for years. Can I hear you say, 'LOL'?
So we sat for Moral and Msian, bloody tiring I tell you. I think I sorta lost my appetite due to the stress.
Oh, and I WON!!! Books!
My sis texted me during studying to tell me I got a parcel from Scholastic. And so I went 'Hmm, who's sending me stuff?' Sis had a feeling it was a book. Went home, opened it and found.....
....Book 1 and 2 of the Hunger Games!!! Roar!! Book 2 was in hardcover, and Book 1 had a small, 3D thing - the one that flips faces when you tilt it? - of the mockingjay pin Katniss received, the same logo on the front cover of Book 1. Readers of Hunger Games would know what I'm talking about.
And then I'm like, 'Whoa, when did I sign up for this competition?'
Seriously, I totally forgot! Then sis conveniently remembered that she'd seen me signing up for this a while back. (P.S. Also signed up for the 26 leather bound classics from Popular so, fingers crossed!)
So proud wei! Winning books. Printed in USA some more tau!
Hehe.
Saturday 24 April 2010
Thursday 15 April 2010
Do Whatever You Want, But Be Sure That You Can Face The Consequences of Your Actions.
Crazy. Hectic. Chaotic.
Thesaurus.
No, you read correctly. Thesaurus. That's what Jian Haw is taking to call me everytime I lecture him for misusing a word. I'll be correcting him about something and he'll go, 'Yalah, yalah, thesaurus! I also have one in my phone!' And then he whips out his phone and opens up the thesaurus app., just to one-up me.
We've been having a multitude of examinations lately. Mock tests and mock-mock tests. But I'm sure you know that already. We are stressed to the point that all we do in our free period now is conquer the library to study. Seriously, that is all we ever do. I bet even the librarians there know us by face now.
And if that wasn't bad enough, we'd just finished our mock/mock-mock chem test yesterday. It was supposed to be 50 MCQs and no structural. So everyone was a bit relieved at the prospect. Then Ms Kana came in, placed her bag down and started handing out questions papers. You know, those in the past year questions format, where they had Jan 2008 or something on them? Yep, so it looked pretty official and everything, and Alex, I think, opened the first few pages.
Kana noticed and shrugged. 'Go ahead and check it out. I don't mind. You can see what you're going to do.'
Then someone shrieked. 'OMG!! Got structural!!'
And the whole class promptly went into an uproar.
'Teacher, you said 50 MCQ only! Why got structural?'
'Why so not fair one!!!'
'Omg, I signed my name already!' Yep, you need to write your surname, initial and sign it at the top column.
And on it went till Kana, grinning like mad, said. 'I never said this was your test.' Stunned class. 'You simply jumped to conclusions. You never gave me the chance to talk. Nice, isn't it, to have your blood pressure go up and come back down again?' Nice? I felt like wringing her neck.
'This is your homework. Do the objective only. And now this is the real test.'
We came close to having a bloody myocardial infarction (read: heart attack). Seriously, I bet the papers would be astounded if that actually happened. "Whole Class Simultaneously Had Heart Attacks. Chem Teacher to Blame."
Msian studies and moral studies final exams is on next Friday, one after the other. Can die, I tell you! Got Msian studies assignment as well. 10 page essay and group presentation. And I'm barely surviving on sleep. I've been cutting down from 8 to six hours a night. And I wake at 6 every morning, regardless. You do the math.
I'm going to bed.
Thesaurus.
No, you read correctly. Thesaurus. That's what Jian Haw is taking to call me everytime I lecture him for misusing a word. I'll be correcting him about something and he'll go, 'Yalah, yalah, thesaurus! I also have one in my phone!' And then he whips out his phone and opens up the thesaurus app., just to one-up me.
We've been having a multitude of examinations lately. Mock tests and mock-mock tests. But I'm sure you know that already. We are stressed to the point that all we do in our free period now is conquer the library to study. Seriously, that is all we ever do. I bet even the librarians there know us by face now.
And if that wasn't bad enough, we'd just finished our mock/mock-mock chem test yesterday. It was supposed to be 50 MCQs and no structural. So everyone was a bit relieved at the prospect. Then Ms Kana came in, placed her bag down and started handing out questions papers. You know, those in the past year questions format, where they had Jan 2008 or something on them? Yep, so it looked pretty official and everything, and Alex, I think, opened the first few pages.
Kana noticed and shrugged. 'Go ahead and check it out. I don't mind. You can see what you're going to do.'
Then someone shrieked. 'OMG!! Got structural!!'
And the whole class promptly went into an uproar.
'Teacher, you said 50 MCQ only! Why got structural?'
'Why so not fair one!!!'
'Omg, I signed my name already!' Yep, you need to write your surname, initial and sign it at the top column.
And on it went till Kana, grinning like mad, said. 'I never said this was your test.' Stunned class. 'You simply jumped to conclusions. You never gave me the chance to talk. Nice, isn't it, to have your blood pressure go up and come back down again?' Nice? I felt like wringing her neck.
'This is your homework. Do the objective only. And now this is the real test.'
We came close to having a bloody myocardial infarction (read: heart attack). Seriously, I bet the papers would be astounded if that actually happened. "Whole Class Simultaneously Had Heart Attacks. Chem Teacher to Blame."
Msian studies and moral studies final exams is on next Friday, one after the other. Can die, I tell you! Got Msian studies assignment as well. 10 page essay and group presentation. And I'm barely surviving on sleep. I've been cutting down from 8 to six hours a night. And I wake at 6 every morning, regardless. You do the math.
I'm going to bed.
Sunday 4 April 2010
The Worst Kind of Influences Are The Ones That Pretend To Be "For Your Own Good."
I absolutely loath Gaius in Merlin.
Oh, he's a fine character and all that, and Richard Wilson portrays him beautifully. I just dislike the way the scriptwriters wrote Gaius out to be all kind and wise when he's actually not.
Shall I give some examples?
In the seventh episode of the first season, The Gates of Avalon, Morgana sees Arthur in her dreams. She sees him drowning underwater and there's a young woman standing over him, watching him die. The very next day, Arthur brings back a woman and her father, whom he'd saved from bandits, and Morgana understands that Lady Sophia Tiamor and Aulfric, her father, are the ones behing Arthur's demise.
So of course, she confides in the only person she'd thought who help: Gaius.
And Gaius, little bugger he is, acts all righteous and keeps on giving Morgana sleeping draughts - then's version of sleeping pills - to help her sleep well and reduce her nightmares. Guess what, Gaius? They don't work! And he knows it, because all the time he's suspected that she's got magic and is a Seer. But no, he won't say anything.
Then Merlin finds out about this but is forbidden from ever letting Morgana know she's a Seer. In The Nightmare Begins (Season 2 Episode 3) tries to help Morgana, who accidentally (using her powers) started a fire in her room. Morgana confides in Gaius, again (dear girl, when will you learn? He's trying to allay you!) and he patronizes her, the bloody physician! He calls her "my child" and she screams at him, 'I'm not a child!' You go, Morgana.
And here is when Merlin shines for a moment but fades back under the wing of Gaius. Here is where Merlin wants Gaius to "talk to her. Tell her she'll be ok. Tell her that her powers aren't something to be afraid of." And when Merlin wants to talk to Morgana after Gaius refuses to, he's being forbidden by his uncle.
Merlin: You need to be honest with her.
Gaius: What makes you so certain that you know better than me?
Merlin: Because I went through exactly the same thing! I know what she's feeling right now!
Gaius: You cannot get involved in this! No good can come of it. I mean it, Merlin. Stay out of it.
Which begs the question, why doesn't Gaius wants Morgana to know about her powers? She's already helped Mordred the Druid boy, she can keep a secret, especially one so close to her. Why doesn't anyone tell her?
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason Morgana actively and behind Uther's back, seeks out her own kind. Like anyone of us, she wants to feel accepted, to belong, to be part of something.
Morgana: I'm sorry. I'm never going back. These are my people. They're like me. (pause) I don't feel so alone here. Do you understand?
Merlin: Better than anyone.
But why won't you tell her, Merlin?
It was absolutely heartbreaking, the part where she says, 'I don't feel so alone here.' One of the reasons why I can really relate to Morgana. I'm still trying to find a place where I don't feel so alone.
But the thing that irked me the most is when people ask why did Morgana become evil. FYI, people, if you've been keeping up with the show, Morgana didn't become evil, regardless of what Gaius said. In The Beginning of the End, all she did was help a Driud boy escape. Uther was persecuting a boy. A boy. Wouldn't you do the same?
In The Nightmare Begins, she seeks out the Druids because they're the only ones who can tell her why she's having all these dreams that can tell the future. In the Sins of the Father, she feels a connection with Morgause, who turns out to be her half-sister. In The Witch's Quickening, she was blinded by Alvarr's charm that she helped him escape. In the Fires of Idirsholas, it was Morgause who spirited Morgana away, and not Morgana herself who left, even though I don't quite approve with the fact she left to see Morgause (but hey, she feels a connection there. Can't blame the girl, can we?)
The thing is, I see it this way: Morgana has powers, things she can't explain, things she doesn't know why. And she's trying to find someone to help her, to explain things to her. Basically just to let her know she's not alone. And Merlin's been given so many opportunities to help, but he doesn't. Because he's influenced by Gaius not to. And when she can't find help from the people around her, she goes to the people she's brought up to believe are evil. Why?
Because they have magic. Surely they can help. And indeed, each and every single one of them (even the ones that use her) tell her that magic is not something to be afraid of. It's a gift. They gave her hope, and they're supposed to be the bad guys. While her so-called friends are filling her head with lies, making her doubt herself. Which is why we see her go from a strong, powerful warrior in Season 1 to a teary, wreck of a lady with very few scenes in each episode in Season 2.
It must be killing her, for the people she trusts so much to betray her (Merlin tried to kill her) and for the people she's been brought up to hate to extend help and courtesy to her. Especially Mordred. I love Mordred. You can see that he geniunely likes Morgana.
I simply hate the fact that the "good" side do nothing to get Morgana through this difficult period of her life and then claim that she's gone over to the dark side when she seeks the people who can help. She's not evil, she's dark, and a little bit misunderstood.
Also, another pet peeve with Morgause. She seemed to truly love Morgana as her sister, but I'm asking, if she loves her sister, why did she use her, manipulate her to be the vessel for the sleeping curse in the Fires of Idirsholas? It stands to reason, then, that she hates Uther more than she cares for her sister. Nice. Both she and Uther finally had something in common, albeit in reverse: He hates magic more than he cares for Morgana too. It's a sign that she's losing herself to her hatred. Morgause is going mad. She will, I'm betting on it.
This whole thing about Gaius being the "good" guy is really wiring me up. I've got a good mind to start a fanfiction where it is revealed that Gaius is actually the one behind everything. I really do.
Maybe after my exams this week, yeah?
Watch out Gaius. I'm coming for you.
Oh, he's a fine character and all that, and Richard Wilson portrays him beautifully. I just dislike the way the scriptwriters wrote Gaius out to be all kind and wise when he's actually not.
Shall I give some examples?
In the seventh episode of the first season, The Gates of Avalon, Morgana sees Arthur in her dreams. She sees him drowning underwater and there's a young woman standing over him, watching him die. The very next day, Arthur brings back a woman and her father, whom he'd saved from bandits, and Morgana understands that Lady Sophia Tiamor and Aulfric, her father, are the ones behing Arthur's demise.
So of course, she confides in the only person she'd thought who help: Gaius.
And Gaius, little bugger he is, acts all righteous and keeps on giving Morgana sleeping draughts - then's version of sleeping pills - to help her sleep well and reduce her nightmares. Guess what, Gaius? They don't work! And he knows it, because all the time he's suspected that she's got magic and is a Seer. But no, he won't say anything.
Then Merlin finds out about this but is forbidden from ever letting Morgana know she's a Seer. In The Nightmare Begins (Season 2 Episode 3) tries to help Morgana, who accidentally (using her powers) started a fire in her room. Morgana confides in Gaius, again (dear girl, when will you learn? He's trying to allay you!) and he patronizes her, the bloody physician! He calls her "my child" and she screams at him, 'I'm not a child!' You go, Morgana.
And here is when Merlin shines for a moment but fades back under the wing of Gaius. Here is where Merlin wants Gaius to "talk to her. Tell her she'll be ok. Tell her that her powers aren't something to be afraid of." And when Merlin wants to talk to Morgana after Gaius refuses to, he's being forbidden by his uncle.
Merlin: You need to be honest with her.
Gaius: What makes you so certain that you know better than me?
Merlin: Because I went through exactly the same thing! I know what she's feeling right now!
Gaius: You cannot get involved in this! No good can come of it. I mean it, Merlin. Stay out of it.
Which begs the question, why doesn't Gaius wants Morgana to know about her powers? She's already helped Mordred the Druid boy, she can keep a secret, especially one so close to her. Why doesn't anyone tell her?
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason Morgana actively and behind Uther's back, seeks out her own kind. Like anyone of us, she wants to feel accepted, to belong, to be part of something.
Morgana: I'm sorry. I'm never going back. These are my people. They're like me. (pause) I don't feel so alone here. Do you understand?
Merlin: Better than anyone.
But why won't you tell her, Merlin?
It was absolutely heartbreaking, the part where she says, 'I don't feel so alone here.' One of the reasons why I can really relate to Morgana. I'm still trying to find a place where I don't feel so alone.
But the thing that irked me the most is when people ask why did Morgana become evil. FYI, people, if you've been keeping up with the show, Morgana didn't become evil, regardless of what Gaius said. In The Beginning of the End, all she did was help a Driud boy escape. Uther was persecuting a boy. A boy. Wouldn't you do the same?
In The Nightmare Begins, she seeks out the Druids because they're the only ones who can tell her why she's having all these dreams that can tell the future. In the Sins of the Father, she feels a connection with Morgause, who turns out to be her half-sister. In The Witch's Quickening, she was blinded by Alvarr's charm that she helped him escape. In the Fires of Idirsholas, it was Morgause who spirited Morgana away, and not Morgana herself who left, even though I don't quite approve with the fact she left to see Morgause (but hey, she feels a connection there. Can't blame the girl, can we?)
The thing is, I see it this way: Morgana has powers, things she can't explain, things she doesn't know why. And she's trying to find someone to help her, to explain things to her. Basically just to let her know she's not alone. And Merlin's been given so many opportunities to help, but he doesn't. Because he's influenced by Gaius not to. And when she can't find help from the people around her, she goes to the people she's brought up to believe are evil. Why?
Because they have magic. Surely they can help. And indeed, each and every single one of them (even the ones that use her) tell her that magic is not something to be afraid of. It's a gift. They gave her hope, and they're supposed to be the bad guys. While her so-called friends are filling her head with lies, making her doubt herself. Which is why we see her go from a strong, powerful warrior in Season 1 to a teary, wreck of a lady with very few scenes in each episode in Season 2.
It must be killing her, for the people she trusts so much to betray her (Merlin tried to kill her) and for the people she's been brought up to hate to extend help and courtesy to her. Especially Mordred. I love Mordred. You can see that he geniunely likes Morgana.
I simply hate the fact that the "good" side do nothing to get Morgana through this difficult period of her life and then claim that she's gone over to the dark side when she seeks the people who can help. She's not evil, she's dark, and a little bit misunderstood.
Also, another pet peeve with Morgause. She seemed to truly love Morgana as her sister, but I'm asking, if she loves her sister, why did she use her, manipulate her to be the vessel for the sleeping curse in the Fires of Idirsholas? It stands to reason, then, that she hates Uther more than she cares for her sister. Nice. Both she and Uther finally had something in common, albeit in reverse: He hates magic more than he cares for Morgana too. It's a sign that she's losing herself to her hatred. Morgause is going mad. She will, I'm betting on it.
This whole thing about Gaius being the "good" guy is really wiring me up. I've got a good mind to start a fanfiction where it is revealed that Gaius is actually the one behind everything. I really do.
Maybe after my exams this week, yeah?
Watch out Gaius. I'm coming for you.
Friday 2 April 2010
I'm Not Going To Pursue This, Not Because I Can't, But Because I Won't.
Let's just face it. We're not good for each other. There may be something between us, and maybe if I don't act now it'll be lost, but it's nothing I can't live without.
My eyes close, my soul quietens.
All I long for, I have yet to reach.
This thing we have
It is full of twists and turns
That I cannot begin to decipher
I believed that there could be something more
But deep judgment pulled me back from going further
It's frustratingly complex yet simple
One step forward, two steps back
I try to look at it differently
How it would seem like to the world
Yet I still see confusion and chaos
Are we for real, or is this just a game we play?
If it is a game, why do I feel such tenderness?
If it's for real, why do I feel such hesitance?
Sorrow tears through me
Yet it is a sorrow I have encountered before
A familiar friend, yet its presence is slightly less than reassuring
It reminds me of things yet to come
Knowledge yet to be found
Loves yet to be known
But somehow, I doubt you'd be one of them
Your world and mine collide
But would you leave it all behind for me?
I don't think I can
I don't really think I can
We come from different origins
And though attraction beckons
I must, have to, need to
Have one foot on reality
We simply cannot exist
Not together
I deny myself this part of you
I deny myself everything I've known about you
Let's forget these moments we've shared
I deny myself everything
My eyes close, my soul quietens.
All I long for, I have yet to reach.
This thing we have
It is full of twists and turns
That I cannot begin to decipher
I believed that there could be something more
But deep judgment pulled me back from going further
It's frustratingly complex yet simple
One step forward, two steps back
I try to look at it differently
How it would seem like to the world
Yet I still see confusion and chaos
Are we for real, or is this just a game we play?
If it is a game, why do I feel such tenderness?
If it's for real, why do I feel such hesitance?
Sorrow tears through me
Yet it is a sorrow I have encountered before
A familiar friend, yet its presence is slightly less than reassuring
It reminds me of things yet to come
Knowledge yet to be found
Loves yet to be known
But somehow, I doubt you'd be one of them
Your world and mine collide
But would you leave it all behind for me?
I don't think I can
I don't really think I can
We come from different origins
And though attraction beckons
I must, have to, need to
Have one foot on reality
We simply cannot exist
Not together
I deny myself this part of you
I deny myself everything I've known about you
Let's forget these moments we've shared
I deny myself everything
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