Thursday, 6 May 2010

Smokes and Laughter

I am supposed to be studying for my Biology mock tomorrow and guess what I'm doing?

Yes I'm blogging!

Got some really stupid stuff that happens in class. The kind that makes you laugh like hell.

Yesterday we were in Bio doing some questions on CHD. Naturally, there was a question where they showed a BMI chart. Underneath they asked, 'What advice should a doctor give to a patient who's BMI is over 40?'

The thing is, people, in the BMI chart, 40 is severely obese. So over 40 would have been worse than that. And after all that Biology training, we were preparing to say, 'Lose weight, do exercises, healthy diet,' when David cut in and exclaimed, 'His BMI is over 40 and that's severely obese! The only thing the doctor can say now is GO FOR A LIPOSUCTION!'

And that simply cracked everyone up.

Today was Ronnie's birthday. Now Ronnie was this fella who most of us didn't like but tolerated. He smokes and swears and is generally, a very vulgar person. But David was pals with him, so he brought up the issue when we were in Physics class. (Teach was late and half the class skipped it after finding out so it was only me, Ee Lyn, Cat, Kerrine, Shean-Woei, Jian Haw, Shweta, David, Pav and Daniel.)

'What should we get him for his birthday then?' SW asked.

David: 'We could get him a pack of smokes!'

Me: 'You're encourage him to smoke? That's gonna kill him!'

David: 'Yes, but we're all gonna contribute RM 1 each and buy him lunch. Then he can have a nice meal and some nice, branded smokes like Marlboro or something and at least it'll be worth dying for!'

SW: What does Ronnie smoke?

David: Everything!

SW: (without thinking) What, like weed or something?

David sputtered at her. 'Weed! Shean-Woei, are you trying to kill us or get us into jail?' David is very dramatic, you'll soon learn. 'Where are we going to get him WEED?'

So it went on about the pros and cons of smoking until David had an idea. 'Ok, Ronnie wants three things: Smokes, a new steering wheel and petrol money. We don't have petrol money for him, and steering wheel costs a hell lotta money, so we're going with the smokes! He'll be so pleased!'


'I know!' Suddenly David has this really brilliant idea. 'We'll get him two packs of smokes, and wrap one up and give it to him, then we'll take the other pack, open it and stick all the smokes on top of a cake or something, so when he smokes, he'll go--' and here, David accurately mimed Ronnie smoking and getting high. '--mmhmm, this taste like chocolate cake!! *stops miming* It'll be the best birthday of his life! He'll be so pleased!' Then he starts acting up again. 'Mummy, look, they got me smokes!!!'

It mayn't seem funny but it was freaking darn hilarious when David did it. Seriously, he kinda reminds me of Sun, just in a more argumentative way.

Then Shangeeth kept having bad luck with pastries: Last time she ate a cheese tart, something happened and it fell to the floor. Today she bought 2 choc cupcakes, ate one, chatted with SW and it fell to the floor. Then at Bio she ate the second cupcake, chatted with Pav and it dropped to the floor.

I'm seeing a pattern here.

And Cat was amusing the way she had to fend out exclaimations over the plaster on her forehead that she said she got it when she slammed her head on the table in exasperation too hard.

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