A Little Escapism

I find a lot of things rather amusing lately. That's an opinion not many people agree with, but why not?

It always strikes me as funny how when people want your help they come to you, but when they don't you don't really hear from them at all. Now, I'm not being mean, nor am I criticising people for that. I've done it myself; I'm all honey sweet when I want stuff, but who doesn't do it?

I just find it rather amusing, a little bit sad, but mostly amusement reigns.

Just today I've had a call, yes a CALL, can you imagine, from a college pal of mine who asks, "Hey, it's XXX. Do you remember me?" As if I can forget anyone of you. I'm more likely than you are to remember who the other is. One of the benefits of being wallflower. (And the only reason I'm making a big deal about people calling me is because people generally don't call me. It's a rule or something; I can leave my phone on for twenty four hours, 7 days a week and I won't have a single call from my friends. It's odd that way.)

So she was saying that a pal of hers was planning to do biotech or biochem next year, and she wanted to borrow my personal statement to just kinda see what I wrote, what needs to be said to get through that yes, it's biotech/biochem I want to do.

Unfortunately I've misplaced my personal statement, and I'm trying to find it myself (to no success, as of late). It's funny how people ask to read the personal statements, I've commited the same crime of reading other people's stuff, but while I'm awed by the various experiences they have that led them to do medicine or pharmacy, I don't relate to it. I've never been involved in meds, never liked it. But it was pretty good, their stuff. I understand why they want it, I just don't feel the same way.

But what is a personal statement? It's personal (yes, thank you, funnily we figured that bit out) but what does it mean? Lots of times I've seen people going around, trying to....well, plagiarize sounds a bit harsh....but yes, people who can't be bothered to write their own tend to copy-paste from other sources. That's not very personal, is it?

Mostly, though, the problem with all these essays is that they ask, why do you want to do this? We know we like this, but why is a rather difficult bit altogether. How do we put into words the passion and joy we feel when we mix chemicals together, that childlike awe we feel when we discover something?

It's kind of like me.

People around me know I love books, devour them with a passion, can read (speed-read, they say, but that's so uncouth. How do you define speed-reading?) an entire book in a few hours. But what people don't know is that when I enter a bookstore where I'm given liberty to buy any book I want (since they were all at discounted prices) I actually cackled.

Cackled, like a witch.

Honestly, if anyone were beside me they would've thought I've lost my mind.

And not once. Oh, no. Multiple times. I run around, finding books, cackling in glee, childlike delight on my face. The best part is, the people I was there with, family? They didn't even notice. And that's fun, because it's a secret. It's a secret that no one will ever witness. You've seen it in books, where the main character sees their love interest doing something they enjoy and there's that expression of utmost joy, and then they'll write: "That's when he fell in love with her all over again." or something to that effect.

You won't get a chance to see it, the way I'm so overwhelmed by the whole thing I actually had to fight the dizziness, fight not to pass out at the sight of it all. Complete euphoria. It's too much to take in at once.

You don't get a chance to see it, because you're not the one I fell in love with.